Managing Your Child’s Screen Time
By Dr. Tiffany Somerville
11 Tips to Help Set Boundaries with Screens
The holiday season has finished, and many children will be enjoying their new toys and gifts over the coming months. Your child may even have received an exciting new electronic device (like a smartphone, tablet, computer, or gaming console) as a holiday gift! During these cold winter months, your family may also be spending more time at home using screen time for entertainment. While electronic devices are a great source of entertainment and education, using them excessively can have some downsides for mental and physical health as well as for your family’s relationships. If you find yourself struggling to regulate your child’s screen time, you are not alone - studies show that around three-fourths of all caregivers feel that parenting is harder now than it was 20 years ago because of the challenges of regulating screen time and internet use. The majority of caregivers also report having frequent conflicts at home related to a child’s screen time, and caregivers are often not sure what they should do to navigate these conflicts and help their child use screens safely. In this article, we will provide some basic information about screen time for children as well as some tips for helping your child and your family to use screens appropriately.
Screen time is now a part of daily life for nearly all children, teenagers, and adults. Many children spend about 5 to 7 hours per day using some type of screen, and teenagers often have closer to 9 hours of screen time per day. Additionally, preteens and teenagers now spend significant portions of the day on social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat.
Since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, screen time has increased across the board for children, teens, and adults. Screen time can have some great benefits for your child and your family. Studies show that using screens together as a family, like watching a movie or playing video games together, can help build stronger family relationships. Some online content, like YouTube videos or interactive games, can be educational and help support your child’s development. For preteens and teenagers, social media can be a useful way to connect with peers and get social support. Young people also frequently post about mental health online which has helped to reduce the stigma of mental illness and allow for more open conversations about mental health.
However, excessive screen time for children has been associated with some negative outcomes for physical and mental health. Children who use screens more often may be at greater risk for obesity, sleep problems, and behavioral issues. More screen time, particularly on social media, has also been associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues in preteens and teenagers. There are also a number of safety concerns when it comes to children spending time online. Children may be exposed to violent, sexual, or otherwise inappropriate content. Spending time on social media can also expose children to the risk of adult predators and cyberbullying. As you attempt to create boundaries and rules around your child’s use of screens, you are likely to encounter conflicts with your child about how much time they can spend using a screen and what type of content they can safely consume.
Here are some guidelines to help you as a caregiver to navigate these conflicts while still keeping your child safe online:
Educate yourself and have open conversations with your child about their screen time. For example, the most popular social media platforms for teenagers in 2022 were YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. The most popular online video games of 2022 were PUBG, Minecraft, Apex Legends, and Fortnite. The more you learn about what your child is doing with their screen time, the better equipped you will be to start open conversations and to set appropriate boundaries to keep them safe and healthy.
Help your child find high-quality content for their screen time, especially if they are passively watching online content. Consider using an online source like Common Sense Media to help find high-quality, age-appropriate content for your child to watch.
Talk explicitly with your child about safety online. Talk about how they can keep their identity and information confidential and how can they stay in kid-friendly spaces online. Tell them to come to talk to you right away if anyone says something to them that makes them uncomfortable or if they encounter any upsetting content.
Don’t make technology the “boogeyman.” Try to maintain a neutral stance - there are wonderful things about technology that have made life better and easier for everyone, but there are also some real mental health, physical health, and safety concerns when it comes to screen time. Also remember that when you were a kid, if your parents told you not to do something, you just wanted to do it more! If you always talk negatively about technology and attempt to heavily restrict your child’s technology use, they will be more incentivized to rebel and may find themselves in an unsafe situation online that they don’t feel comfortable sharing with you.
Set up screen time boundaries and rules as a family. There are no “one-size-fits-all” recommendations that will work for every family. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under 2 only watch educational programming with a caregiver; that children ages 2-5 only spend about an hour each weekday and 3 hours on weekends on non-educational screen time; and that children age 6 and older need support from caregivers in developing healthy boundaries around screens that are appropriate for their needs. Consider making family rules to limit screen time, such as not using screens during mealtimes, or choosing one evening a week that your family will commit to no screen time. To help establish these rules for your family, consider using a tool like the Family Media Plan from the American Academy of Pediatrics. If your children are old enough to engage in conversations with you about their device use, try to involve them in creating the family media plan with you.
Consider following the same rules as your children when it comes to screen time. It’s difficult for children to understand why they can’t use a screen all evening if you are constantly on your phone or computer. Model other non-screen-related activities (e.g., reading a book, making a craft) during your leisure time at home - your child will learn a lot from watching you!
Use screens together! There are so many fun ways to use technology as a family, including watching movies and playing video games together. Studies show that family screen time use can build closeness just like other non-screen activities. Select something fun that your entire family will enjoy doing together.
Remember that screen time can be addictive. For example, social media platforms and video games are designed to release dopamine in the brain, and both children and adults can become addicted to this dopamine “hit.” Keep in mind that if you take away a device from your child, they may become upset, just like you might be if someone took away your smartphone. However, giving the device back to help stop your child’s tantrum will only teach them that crying will eventually make you give in. Stay firm with your boundaries and provide your child with a variety of fun options they can use to replace screen time, like making an art project, playing a board game with you, reading a book, or playing outside.
Use your resources and don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially if you don’t consider yourself to be very “tech-savvy.” Ask your therapist, case manager, or your doctor for their thoughts and recommendations about your child’s screen time. Ask your family members and friends with children how they navigate screen time and help their children to stay safe online.
Consider using additional tools for online safety, like the parental controls built into your child’s device or an additional service like Net Nanny or Google Family Link. Do some research to determine what type of regulation you think your child needs, including limiting your child’s time on a particular app or filtering certain websites.
Know that your child is smart! Children can often find a way around filters and apps designed to restrict content and/or time on a certain device. These tools can be an excellent resource for safety, but don’t count on them alone to keep your child safe. Nothing can replace having open conversations with your child about their screen time and their online activity.
